Dear Ira Glass

** 5/18/2015 - I wrote this quickly last Friday & hit publish while angry.  (never a good idea).  There's a follow up post here where I talk about why writing angrily, ignoring all the ways that NPR and broader public radio community are meeting me, and bringing up race as I did were all probably mistakes.  If you read this one, please also read that one (linked again at the bottom).  Or maybe go listen to a good public radio piece instead?  I'm making one additional edit to this piece & adding a strikethrough to my reference to race in the final paragraph.  Re-reading, it seems extremely inappropriate.

**Note - getting some responses to this and updating at least the section on the NPR upfronts.  Also worth pointing out that TAL is not an NPR program.  Corrections in the post thanks to comments by Linda Holmes & Annie Johnson, though at this point I won't have time to make more updates.

As a fan of public radio for years, I was disappointed to hear Ira Glass' quote at the podcasting upfront a few weeks ago that "Public Radio is ready for capitalism".  I wasn't alone.

This makes me sad. TAL and Serial were built on the backs of public media. This is the antithesis of everything. http://t.co/tr5Tf7UXF7

— Melody Joy Kramer (@mkramer) May 3, 2015

And after reading Ira's response (clarification?) in Current, I think that maybe there's some point-missing going on here.  So here's my attempt to respond and offer my concerns, as a longtime listener (who was prompted to begin pledging in large part at the absolute terror of how I would respond if Ira were to pounce on me and ask why I wasn't).

First, since you laid out your bona fides, lets add mine: I grew up in Minnesota listening to MPR.  The coolest moment of near-brush-with-celebrity for me was seeing Garrison Keillor walking down the street.  I grew up on "Sound Money" with Erika Whittlinger, the "Weekend Edition Sunday" music still sends chills down my spine.  I remember sitting in the air listening anxiously to every second of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me ..." (back when the celebrity guests were NPR personalities and getting only one answer was a "rat boy" named after Neal Conan's failure), and I remember being enthralled by "This American Life".  I drifted a bit in college, and now my listening is podcasts and NPR One, plus following fantastic public radio folks on Twitter, but I still consider myself a die-hard public radio fan.

As a fan of both public radio and podcasts, it's been interesting, exciting, and sometimes disheartening to watch as various programs make stabs into this region.  Let's start with the interesting and exciting - you say that your project documenting life at Harper High School (which was one of my favorite programs of yours last year) was made possible in large part because of increased revenue from podcast underwriting.  That's awesome!  It was a fantastic program, clearly took a lot of effort and also simply monetary resources, and I'm really glad you were able to put it on.  It's been fascinating to watch the cultural phenomenon that is "Serial", and now seeing that "Invisibilia" seems to be doing well is great.  Neither show is really for me (and really, I've mostly drifted away from "This American Life" outside of your occasional investigative shows), but that's fine.  I'm glad that public radio is doing well in this new audio sphere, and I'm glad that that success is enabling new experiments.  And frankly, I get the you were talking to advertisers and trying to get their money.  It's an understandable quote.

But now lets talk about some of the disheartening things - Gimlet's missteps, turmoil at the top, the cancellation of Tell Me More and censuring of Latino USA, and also the poster children of this successful move into podcasting.

Alex Blumberg, former "This American Life" guy, left to form a startup called Gimlet, and his first show "Startup" also had a bit of a moment last year.  A moment enabled by his close proximity to "This American Life", "Planet Money" and the public radio community.  Indeed, when the inevitable public radio march madness brackets arrived this year, there was at least one that included "Startup" in the public radio family.  Famously, Alex had some trouble with a squarespace ad that was misrepresented as a "This American Life" spot.  Less famously, but more troubling to me, when he went out looking to raise money, he did a show with some former planet money colleagues that was a bald-faced attack on the notion of "accredited investors" exactly when he had a huge incentive to ask people (qualified or not) to invest in early-round startup financing.  Essentially, when asking people to make a risky investment, he found some public radio folks to provide cover for a pseudo-journalistic story about how the big nasty SEC was preventing him from asking people for money, neglecting to point out all of the very good reasons that these regulations were developed.  To protect from people like him.  Conflict of interest is a mild way of putting it.  And while Gimlet is clearly a for-profit startup, not a public radio program, there's still some question of whether it's "in the family".  After all, Reply All has put at least one segment on "This American Life".  These blurred lines are going to get blurrier, not less, as plenty of other podcast networks poach public radio talent, and public radio tries to defend itself.  This is disheartening, not exciting.

So lets move to the direction of leadership at the top.  Because you've leaned a lot on being a public radio lifer, and being devoted to "the job that’s at the heart of public broadcasting: to put voices and stories on the air that would never be heard otherwise; to provide perspective and analysis that’s not heard elsewhere; and to invent a new kind of broadcasting".  I am incredibly grateful to you for that, and I don't in any way question your commitment to public radio and it's mission.  But I do think that in addition to a strong commitment to mission in the ranks of an institution, there's also a need for strong vision from the top.  NPR has had 5 CEOs since 2009.  It faces large financial pressures.  Am I worried that "This American Life" is going to lose sight of it's vision? No.  Do I think that TAL can by itself keep public radio on-vision? Clearly not (nor should you be expected to - especially since TAL isn't part of NPR - thanks to Annie Johnon @anneejohnson9).  So when you say that public radio is ready for capitalism, I worry very much about how those pressures are going to affect other parts of public radio.

Which leads directly into my next point - the discussion going on about diversity within public radio right now.  A discussion sparked in large part by Chenjerai Kumayanika's "The Whiteness of Public Radio", and one which has to a lesser extent focused on how women reporters and in particular vocal fry are perceived.  (Look! Even you spent some time on that part!).  You concluded your essay by saying that "the best predictor of future behavior is his or her past behavior".  NPR cancelled "Tell Me More".  From that link: "Tell Me More's demise is the third for programs expressly designed to have a primary appeal for African-American listeners and other people of color."  There was just a dustup with "Latino USA" regarding their profile of Chuy Garcia.  In the midst of an ongoing discussion about #PubRadioVoice, and in particular it's whiteness, NPR's past behavior does not fill me with confidence.

Which of course brings us back around to where we started - the podcast upfronts, and the flagship shows that are being used to bring all of these advertisers in: "This American Life", "Serial", "Invisibilia".  I think a visual of the hosts would help here.
**Edited - Glynn Washington hosted the Upfronts.  Jad Abumrad was there.  Sarah Koenig was not there, and Lulu and Alix were not on stage.  Thanks to Linda Holmes (@nprmonkeysee) for pointing this out.  Adding pictures of Glynn and Jad.  I still feel that the online coverage, and the message of "successful podcasts to woo advertisers" has pushed TAL, Serial, and Invisibility, but may be over-reaching there.  Linda also points out that Glyn's "Snap Judgement" is a successful show that TAL has spotlighted.
 

I love you Ira, but this lineup of shows and hosts almost parodies itself.  I'm glad that "This American Life" is doing the TAL thing.  I think you have a distinct and important voice, and I think that TAL brought and continues to bring something fresh and interesting to public radio.  I don't want you to stop that because you're successful.  Nor do I want all of public radio to be TAL and TAL imitators.  And if indeed podcasting is an important part of the future financial health of public radio, and the people who are the successful faces and voices of that movement are all white, then we start to run into problems with diversity broadly and specifically (to use your words) "to put voices and stories on the air that would never be heard otherwise".

See, Ira, the problem isn't that we think that you're going to sell out.  The problem is that we think that public radio must be broader and richer than you.  You're a wonderful and amazing part of public radio.  I think that few of your detractors actually mean to question your devotion to the mission of public radio.  But we're all too aware (as, lets be honest, you are or at least should be) that capitalism has a lot to do with incentives.  And right now, there are a lot of incentives driving public radio in a very particular, very white, direction.  Pointing that out, and yelling it from the rooftops isn't "cartoony and stupid".  It's an essential demonstration of our love for this great institution that is and must be so much bigger than the four faces above.

I love you Ira, but right now I'm a lot more interested in you using the giant megaphone you've got to amplify black and brown voices and continue a discussion about #PubRadioVoice (which is a lot bigger than vocal fry) than I am in you defending your commitment to public radio by dismissing the fears that an institution that's actively cutting minority programming while promoting white shows might be losing it's way just a bit.  It's fair to ask whether public radio is ready for capitalism, and I think fair to say that you're not the person who can answer that question.

**Reminder that I made some edits to this piece which I wrote more quickly and emotionally than I should have.  Follow up post here.

Spring!

It's spring! We're going to ignore the all the bedding I've changed and the bit of a funk I've been in the past few weeks because it's spring and Sprout is walking!  We gave her shoes this weekend and she's pretty excited:

After the excitement of going out to walk with her big sister, daddy & mommy, Sprout was eager to go out again today:

Plus, the parks are open & usable again!

(Sprout really likes the see-saw.  Tapole preferred climbing and sliding, but Sprout likes bouncing with her sister)


Also, she wants my coffee. :)

2 Milestones

It's been a pretty big last few days for Sprout.  Not only did she turn 1 a couple weeks ago, but Gamma came to visit this weekend, and teeth are sprouting left and right.  (6 and 2 on the way, I think I last counted).  Also, we hit two major milestones over the weekend, one developmental, and one more along the lines of minion-training.

First, yesterday and today, Sprout helped me unload the dishwasher.  She can stand with a hand holding the frame and reach in to grab a utensil, then pass it to me.  We've been practicing handoffs for a while now (it's a skill that her older sister often emphasizes), so she's pretty comfortable with this.  It's only moderately terrifying that she also grabs bowls and plates and tries to lift them up to me.  Casualties so far: 1 dropped knife, 1 licked spoon, 1 chipped plate.

Second, Sprout's finally decided that maybe a crab crawl won't get her everywhere in life and decided she'd like to walk around while holding my hands.  So for 20 minutes tonight, I would hold her hands and help her walk to Gamma.  She'd give a hug, crawl back to me, then reach her hands up to have me help her stand and walk over to mommy to repeat the performance.  Daddy, it seems, is the designated walker-helper.  Tadpole assisted a few times as well, which was adorable.  Sprout also managed a few steps one-handed from time to time, but when she noticed that almost immediately went back to her trusty crab-crawling.  20 minutes straight of a skill she's shown once or twice before.  When she decides she's ready to stand/walk unassisted, I'm doomed.  There'll be no time to adjust.

My back, however, will appreciate the break.

So - minion training is well underway, with not just handing over small objects found on the floor, but now completing an actual useful chore (and one which her big sister has aged out of wanting to help with).  Mobility achievements unlocked, in rather terrifying fashion.  Measles vaccination received (more relieving than it should be).  All in all, pretty exciting times for Sprout and the rest of us.

Settlers

R & I were discussing the recent Wall Street Journal article about the Green Bay Packers playing Settlers of Cataan, and Tadpole announced that she wanted to play, so we played (a variant) this weekend.

I think she enjoyed it.


We roll dice & collect any resources on the board for that number.  (So she's working on some counting and matching skills!)  Then we place a road.  We're trying to make roads for the guy to go on.  Trading resources is mostly ignored.  "Settlers of Cataan is about collecting sheep!" Tadpole informs us triumphantly.



She even came up with a dice cup!

Stay at Home Dad Thinkpieces

Over at The Atlantic, Ryan Park, a former clerk for Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, took some time to write a thinkpiece about being a Stay at Home Dad.  (Worth scrolling through just for some delightful pictures of Park, his family, and the justice)  In the almost three and a half years that I've been a Stay at Home Dad (with about a year of part-time consulting included), I've read a number of Stay at Home Dad Thinkpieces (SAHDTP?) and Clark's is a fine example of the genre.  There are touching parenting moments (my wife pointed out that the triumph of actually knowing the important toddler indicators at a checkup is, in fact, a thing, and one that I was prouder of earlier on).  There are some obligatory observations about how it's different being a SAHD rather than a SAHM (about which more below), comparisons to Europe and especially Sweden's policy of generous family leave time, and questions about how this can impact the SAHD's career.  Park also spends some time on the ways that Ginsburg's legal career, spent challenging gender discrimination, opened doors for men to have family time as well as opening doors for women.  "Gender lines in the law are bad for everyone: bad for women, bad for men, and bad for children."

I've been seething over the piece since I read it.

It's not all bad. Park's comment that "I had prided myself on being an involved, helpful partner when I was working. But my prior contributions now felt like glorified babysitting." rang uncomfortably true. (And as we transition Sprout's nighttime routine away from an evening feeding that R always handled, I once again feel like a glorified and incompetent babysitter ... the feelings of helplessness do not go away.)  The joy he clearly has in spending time with his daughter is real, and relatable.  If he's able to reflect on & enjoy that in the evenings, I'm envious - that's a marvelous thing I so rarely remember to do.  (But see last post! I revel occasionally!)  I was certainly transformed by my decision to stay home, and I'm incredibly grateful for it, even the hard parts.

But there's so much of Park's piece that rings untrue with my experience, and elements of judgment and tone-deafness that are almost offensive.  Basically, Park spent a year after clerking for a Supreme Court justice before starting a job at a high-powered law firm.  Part of the reason he spent extra time on his job search was that he insisted on carving out time and space for his family as part of the job.  I applaud this decision (and hope it works out for him), but the only way you get this leverage as an entering associate is by first graduating Harvard Law, then clerking for a Supreme Court Justice (and, probably, be a man). Advantages that were made possible by his former single-minded pursuit. Clark writes "I feel similarly blessed to have been born at a time when I could, without apology, fully immerse myself in the joys and exertions of life as a stay-at-home dad." There's no similar acknowledgement that his year of SAHD tourism was made possible by his wife's income and his academic credentials.

I use the word tourism there intentionally, because we're getting to the part of the piece that most annoyed me.  In Clark's telling, the world is hostile to SAHDs.  Senior partners raised an eyebrow when he emphasized his commitment to family.  He was surrounded by "steely-eyed blonde mothers in yoga pants and smiling Latina nannies in faded jeans" (a phrase that's evocative, not necessarily incorrect, but still judgmental), and he felt unwelcome among "the lululemon ladies" when he told them that he was caring for his daughter while he was between jobs - 

I encountered the assumption that I didn’t want to be doing this—that my presence at the playground was the product of a professional setback. (“I’m taking some time between jobs to be at home with my daughter.” “Good for you! My husband would go crazy. Don’t worry, something will come up.” “I had a one-year position with long hours, and I really wanted to spend time with my daughter before I started work again.” “You should consider yourself lucky! My husband is in finance; he could never do that. There’s a silver lining to every cloud, you know?”)

Turns out, especially in this economy, if you phrase your time with your kid as an interval between jobs, you'll get people talking about the job & career.  In my own experience (and here Clark and I are basically trading anecdotes), if you talk to the yoga-pants moms or Latina nannies about being a dad, and focus the conversation on childcare, they're generally welcoming, happy to talk, and probably up for a play date.  I'm not even going to bother with the raised eyebrows of senior partners on interviews - I can't imagine a woman interviewing for a position at a top tier firm being willing to make Clark's admission, or being offered a job if she did.

My own experience is a world that is generally open to SAHDs.  I've gotten some strange looks in the grocery stores and learned to have my wife make the first contact with babysitters, but usually I get words of encouragement (most especially from women of my parent's generation).

I applaud Clark for taking a great year with his daughter as he advanced in his legal career.  Being a SAHD is an incredibly rewarding, challenging, and transformative experience.  It's also, even now, a difficult choice for many reasons and I'm glad he was able to make it.  That said, I didn't particularly need this thinkpiece.  I want to read Clark's essay in 2-3 years on being an associate at a big firm with a wife with her own career and the challenges of parenting.  I want that essay to be cowritten with a woman, and I want them to trade stories of job searches.  Then I want to read Clark's essay in 5-10 years on how as a senior associate or partner he's joined (or formed) his firm's parenting networks and worked to make substantive changes in hiring, promotion, and hours requirement decisions in order to make his firm and industry more family-friendly.  Mostly, I want to read the tributes written to him at the end of his career by moms and dads whose efforts to balance work and family were made easier by his influence.  Tributes like this one offered to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Children's Museum

I'm trying to celebrate time with my girls this year, and today was definitely worth celebrating! We had a great time at the Children's Museum.

"Wow! Look at this infinite space for me to explore!"

Tadpole did this sequence of balls rolling down ramps four times.  On the fourth, she color sorted.  20+ minutes of concentration, where I occasionally checked in, but mostly just got to enjoy playing with Sprout.

Who was inspired by her big sister :)

More playing.  And putting balls into boxes!

Behind that wall is Tadpole patiently lining up the rows of glow sticks you see, in cooperation with a new friend.


And when I came back from checking on Tadpole, here was Sprout's newest discovery!

I spent two hours at the museum with the girls.  They were happy and focused the whole time.  I alternated between checking in with one or the other, enjoying a bit of downtime, and just watching and marveling at my two wonderfully creative and independent girls.  This trip was magical!

Conversations with Tadpole

I had a conversation with Tadpole this morning that felt a bit like an Abbot & Costello routine:

T: I have a giraffe inside of me.

Me: A giraffe?!

T: Yes daddy.  I have a giraffe inside of me!

Me: Are you telling a story?

T: No, it's not a story.  We're not in a story, or a movie!

Me: How do you know?

T: My youth is all spent.  My get up and go has got up and went!




You win, kiddo.  You absolutely win.