Settlers

R & I were discussing the recent Wall Street Journal article about the Green Bay Packers playing Settlers of Cataan, and Tadpole announced that she wanted to play, so we played (a variant) this weekend.

I think she enjoyed it.


We roll dice & collect any resources on the board for that number.  (So she's working on some counting and matching skills!)  Then we place a road.  We're trying to make roads for the guy to go on.  Trading resources is mostly ignored.  "Settlers of Cataan is about collecting sheep!" Tadpole informs us triumphantly.



She even came up with a dice cup!

I'll always take care of you

Today was a bit chaotic, with much accomplished, but often left half-done for a while, so the detritus of entertainment, cooking, and laundry was littered through the house.  Also, we have a shower that doesn't leak and a baby who can fall asleep in places other than her crib!

Late in the day after prepping a dinner for Tadpole and another for R and I, I set a few dishes to soak and headed upstairs to check on R and the baby.  We chatted for a bit and then headed downstairs to discover that not only had I left the water running, but the seal I applied on the kitchen sink the last time we discovered it leaked when it overflowed was not as watertight as hoped.

With a bit of prompting, I got some towels.  A bucket under the sink caught most of the water, and was mostly filled with things that can take getting wet.  It was, in the grand scheme of things, just one more of the ways in which life was chaotic today, but all worked out for the best.

Tadpole (of course) wanted to help, which was the last thing I felt up to dealing with as I pulled various cleaning supplies out & set them to dry.

Daddy, are you sad?

No, I'm not sad.  I'm just very ... frazzled right now.

Oh.  OK.

(long pause)

Mommy, daddy is very frazzled.  Frazzled is like sad.  I'm going to bring my friends to watch from back here.

(aside - I *love* watching her try to figure out how words and concepts fit with words and concepts she already knows.  Even in the midst of cleaning up overflowing sink, this was fascinating and delightful!)

Later that night, as we were getting ready for bed:

Daddy, I'll always take care of you when you're frazzled.

Thank you Tadpole.  (big hug).

Yes, I'll help when there are spills, and I'll always be here to take care of you.

Hopefully she'll feel the same way when I'm in my dotage.  But for now, there are days when Tadpole's driving me to distraction, and others where she's the one saving me from it.  Today was the latter, and I needed that.

Overheard Today

This morning, while I was feeding Sprout, Tadpole decided an extra spoon was needed.  Sometimes we give Sprout a spoon to keep her hands occupied.  As she's become more coordinated, I've backed off this technique because the second spoon becomes a hindrance.  Tadpole was having none of this.  She was in a "helpful" mood, and determined to help whether I liked it or not.  Second spoon was coming, and if I didn't accept that a tantrum was in order.

Through strategic use of deep breathing exercises, the threat of exiling a favorite toy (I try to stomp pretty hard on defying something I've just said), and requests to use her words, she finally let me explain why I did not want a new spoon. Which she accepted, and then came these magic words.

Or, I could get a new spoon and we could put it on the table in case you want it.

Yes, Tadpole.  Yes.  That will absolutely work.

Solved that problem!

(Repeated three or four times while I laughed and agreed.)

Driving home from a school event, we got this (unprompted) gem:

Friends are coworkers because these four reasons.

1. That's how the world works.

2. Coworkers are coworkers

3. Coworkers use work because coworkers get money to buy other things*

4. It's the absence of work that's how coworkers get money.

That's what Tadpole's are for.

* OK, 3 was shorter, but we forgot & asked her to tell us again for posterity & that's what she came up with.

Finally this evening after we'd read bits of One Fish, Two Fish, I got this gem while she was washing up:

Ned doesn't have a good bed.  We should get him a new bed.  I wouldn't like his bed because it has holes in it.  I would cry if I had a bed with holes in it.  When I had a crib, I didn't fit in it and I cried a lot.  I had to sleep on the floor because it has holes in hit.  But now I have a big girl bed.

So there's that.  We need to get a new bed for Ned.

Overheard Today

While Sprout was fussing in the car:

Tadpole: don't worry Sprout, I'll take care of you. I have to go to school some days, but Tadpole will always come back. I'll take care of you. I'm a good big sister.

Later, on news that she was going to do a solo play date with a friend while Sprout naps:

I'm going to see A. She's a good friend and coworker.

Making beer - the three year old edition

I've mentioned before that I homebrew beer periodically.  The last batch got a bit too excited.

Tadpole's been doing her own "brewing" too.

Here, she's boiling the wort, with my last batch in the background.  This (I've been informed) is vanilla beer.

Beer starts out as wort (or beans) in a carboy.

After putting the beer in a carboy, you need to add an airlock.

It's important to syphon out some beer in order to weigh the original and final gravity

But first you have to separate out the yellowish crud at the bottom.

You need to get the finished product into a bottle.

Cap the bottle, of course.


And eventually, you get to drink the finished product!

Parenting Advice

Tadpole had a terrible time falling asleep in her crib.  Sprout really likes falling asleep in her crib.

Tadpole was great at falling asleep in car seats and strollers.  Sprout not so much.

Tadpole had trouble self soothing, Sprout figured out sucking her thumb very quickly.

Tadpole woke from naps if I moved around even a little bit.  Sprout's got the hang of getting herself back to sleep.

Sprout takes one good morning nap, then short naps later in the day.  Tadpole (once she fell asleep) could sleep a long time whenever she was tired.

I point this out because as every parent knows, lots of people like giving parenting advice.  There are books out there with parenting advice.  Some of the books are good.  Some of the advice from people is good.

Even if all advice was good and based in experience and research and things, it would run into the basic problem that kids are different.  Granted we have more experience than we did with Tadpole, but I don't think that we're the cause of all of the sleep differences above.  Kids are different.  Even good advice doesn't always apply.

That's worth keeping in mind.

Celebrating victories

After the past few days, celebrating some parenting victories seems necessary, so here goes:

Tadpole hasn't had an accident in a long time.

We took Sprout to the doctor*, and when he handed Tadpole a sticker, she said Thank You unprompted. He made a point of complimenting me and R since that's uncommon and takes work from the parent. I'll take it!

Tadpole and I went for a long walk with Sprout today. Tapole walked on the sidewalk, occassionally dashing ahead or waiting behind and running after me. When I called her back to me, she came quickly and without protest.

Tadpole sprayed water into her little pool today.

For dinner, Tadpole initially objected to pasta with sauce (Pasta should be served with oil and Parmesan, none of this barbaric sauce!), but ate it all!

We have two amazing girls. And things we have pushed for a long time regarding bathrooms, courtesy, and following directions on walks are starting to come to fruition.  Today is a good day to celebrate those victories.

Also pictures! 

* it turns out that about one in 20 babies doesn't have their tear ducts open on time. Tears flow to the wrong places, eye goop is disturbed, and the skin gets red and angry-looking. Sprout is one of the twenty, as we learned today.

Walking mommy to the sidewalk

Every weekday morning, R heads out to the train and Tadpole walks mommy to the sidewalk.  She's way too excited to stop at the threshold, but the train station is too long a walk.  So she walks mommy to the sidewalk.  I'm not allowed to leave the porch.  Bye mommy!

All the numbers in the world

Tadpole (3): Soon I'm going to be five like [friend]

But what will you need to be first?

First I need to be four. Then I'm going to be five. Then I will be six.

Then I will be <mutters>1,2,3,4,5,6,7</mutters>Seven!

Yep.

Yeah and then eight!  Then <mutters>1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9</mutters>Nine! Then ten! Then 11 and 12 and 13! I'm going to be really tall when I'm thirteen!

Yes you will kiddo.

Yeah and you know what? Then I'm going to be all the numbers!

<laughter>

Yeah! Even one hundred!

Mommy: yep, you might make it to one hundred.

Yes, I'm going to be one hundred and daddy we're going to need a really, really, really, really tall car when I'm one hundred!

Experiments

Tadpole really likes experiments, and a few months ago we put a few flowers in water dyed with food coloring and watched the results.  Tonight, while we were looking over our garden, Tadpole grabbed a lily stem.  R suggested we put it in a vase:

Yeah and then we'll put in water and food coloring and wait and watch it grow and see the colors!

I was delayed a few minutes in following Tadpole in.  When I got inside she'd already gotten out the food coloring.

Yeah but first I got a stool and then I opened up the cabinet and I was reaching for the food coloring but then the stool was sloping and then I was floating in the ocean* but then I reached even more and I got the food coloring and then I got the stool back over and I climbed down.

Below is a picture of the corner where the food coloring is kept. I'm just glad nothing was broke. And she didn't try to get a vase down as well. 

*floating in the ocean is hanging on a counter by her elbows, with feet hanging free.

Sewing

More on developments in purposeful, imaginative play later. For now, a brief episode from tonight.

The scene: Mommy and daddy's room. A rocking chair with a small pillow for back support.

The players: Tadpole, Daddy.

The time: just before bedtime. Teeth have been brushed, pajamas donned. All is in readiness for a final story and climb into bed.

Tadpole: <grabs pillow> "I'm going to take this for bedtime.

Daddy: "No, that's mommy's pillow. Leave it please."

Tadpole: <screaming>

Daddy: (terrified, quiet) "shhh ... We just put your sister in her crib. You have to be quiet."

Enter Mommy.  Discussion ensues. Mommy clarifies that the pillow is Tadpole's, has been on a long-term loan.

Mommy: "You were so nice to let me keep the pillow. May I continue to use it?"

Tadpole: "No."

Mommy: "But it helps my back."

Tadpole: "No."

Daddy: "Without the pillow, mommy's back really hurts. Can she use it?"

Tadpole: <sets down pillow>. <goes to bed, picks up a full size pillow from the bed>. <deposits on chair>. <proudly reclaims original small pillow>. "You use that one mommy."

Mommy: (giggling). "OK kiddo. Thank you.  Are you saying I need to make a new pillow?"

Tadpole: "Daddy, tomorrow when you are making coffee and milk, I'm going to be sewing mommy a new pillow."

Daddy: "Oh?"

Tadpole: "Yes. I'm going to do the sewing, but not the pins part because pins are sharp. Mommy can you do the pins part and I will do the sewing when daddy makes coffee?"

All: <dissolves into happy giggles, hugs>. "I love you."

A single raindrop

We were out for a walk with Tadpole a few days ago when she got a scrape on her ankle. (Turns out that I did have a reason to tell you to stay on the sidewalk and not stumble through the garden kiddo.)

Tadpole is not a fan of owies, and she did not like the idea of cleaning it when we got home.  But after a few minutes of whining about that pronouncement, she quieted down and went back to tricycling.

It was blocks later when she announced that a thunderstorm was coming (clear blue sky notwithstanding ... after all, we'd had one a few days before, so thunderstorms were in the air).  And it was many minutes after that when she announced that she'd felt a raindrop.

You will not be surprised to learn that the raindrop from the thunderstorm landed on her ankle.  It cleaned her ankle and the scrape.  We would not have to clean the owie when we got home, although we could still put a band-aid on it.

The protests when we vetoed that line of logic we're more impressive than the first round.

How long do they stay three?

Two anecdotes

We took the girls out to a park and Ice Cream yesterday. On the way home, Sprout (3 months) began loudly explaining that she was hungry and tired of being in her car seat.  Tadpole decided to comfort her sister:

Sprout, if you would like to watch the Cars movie when we get home, you need to refrain from whining.

R and I sat stunned for a moment, then laughed. Encouraged, Tadpole continued.

And what do we say to that? Mind Blown!!

At the end of dinner, Tadpole was doing "Rock and Roll" fingers. Somehow these also became a phone to discuss her schoolwork on.

Ring, Ring. Oh hello Rock and Roll. I traced sandpaper letters with [classmate] today.

Me: hello Tadpole. What letters did you trace.

No, Rock and Roll, I don't want to talk about school anymore. I'm just going to be quiet.

Thunderstorms

We had a thunderstorm tonight. The 3 month old fell asleep before it started, and the three-year-old ended up falling asleep while mommy sat with her.

Walking home from the park, Tadpole asked about thunderstorms, and we went a little bit Magic School Bus in our explanation: we showed her the grey clouds and talked about how water up there was joining into little water droplets, which would turn into raindrops and fall down.  And how the grass (and our garden!) really wanted that water.  I don't think we got into root systems, but we did talk a bit about lightning, charges separating, and electricity jumping between the clouds and the ground.  I talked about how that made a lot of energy and the thunder was part of that energy.  R talked about about how the thunder was the lightning saying 'hi'.  (Aside - myths, folktales, and kids stories seem less silly now that I'm a parent)

Tadpole ate it up.  She asked us to tell the story of the thunderstorms at least three times, and filled in words and phrases as we went on.  This was exciting and a way to use words and things.

And then we went inside and she said "I don't like the thunderstorm because it's loud and scary."

Yep, kiddo, it is.  We can tell you stories and use words and reassure you that you're safe and talk about being in a brick house which is the one that the big bad wolf can't even blow down, but at the end of the day lightning and thunder are scary.  And thinking about them is scary.  And maybe in the moment we can watch them together and have fun with that so that you have a not-scary experience of thunderstorms.  But for now, while you're three, words and stories and experiences are very, very far apart, and I'm not going to keep you up until 10:30 to watch the lightning and laugh together and process the experience.  But I will hold you and hug you, whenever you let me.

Unrelated aside - at bedtime, I was singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow" and Tadpole informed me that:
"Soon we're going to get a rainbow"
"Really?"
"Yes.  We're going to get it in a package from Amazon.  We're going to get two packages from Amazon and one will have a rainbow in it and the other one will have other things."

So also there's that.

Two anecdotes

We took the girls out to a park and Ice Cream yesterday. On the way home, Sprout (3 months) began loudly explaining that she was hungry and tired of being in her car seat.  Tadpole decided to comfort her sister:

Sprout, if you would like to watch the Cars movie when we get home, you need to refrain from whining.

R and I sat stunned for a moment, then laughed. Encouraged, Tadpole continued.

And what do we say to that? Mind Blown!!

At the end of dinner, Tadpole was doing "Rock and Roll" fingers. Somehow these also became a phone to discuss her schoolwork on.

Ring, Ring. Oh hello Rock and Roll. I traced sandpaper letters with [classmate] today.

Me: hello Tadpole. What letters did you trace.

No, Rock and Roll, I don't want to talk about school anymore. I'm just going to be quiet.

We should all be Type A

Tadpole discovered the story of the three little pigs recently.  In our story, the little piggy with the brick house is Type A.  Much like mommy.  At the end of the story, Tadpole announced:

"I'm a bit Type A."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  Just like mommy."

"So you like having everything just so?"

"Yes!"

[silence]

"Everybody should be Type A!"

OK kiddo. We'll talk about work-life balance when you're older.

Daily Dispatches

Tadpole's on fire this afternoon.

Driving home from school, after confirming that she ate lunch:

Yeah and I took a nap!

Great! Did you do any work?

Yeah but I don't want to talk about it!

OK.

I did new work today. It was cloth washing!

Oh? What did you use?

We need a basket and a small cloth and some unsafe sugar!

Oh?

Yeah and I used the unsafe sugar and I cleaned with the small cloths.

What did you clean?

I don't want to talk about it!

Later at the library she was mostly dashing about excitedly, but she did sit long enough to help me look up some call numbers, and later to check out Hugo- and Nebula-nominee Ancillary Justice.

On the way home, we passed a fair being set up:

Daddy I'm going to go on the Ferris wheel and not you and mommy and Sprout just me. I'm going to go one the Ferris wheel and a horse and a helicopter and a boat and a car to go visit my friends across the ocean.  But when I'm older.

Yes you will kiddo. What else is there to say?

Gods

R and I have been thinking a bit about how to introduce Tadpole to religion when she gets a bit older.  Tonight, somehow gods (Greek mythology?) came up in conversation and we asked Tadpole about them.

"Do you know what gods are kiddo?"

"Yes. They're like the captains of a big white boat."

<general laughter, pleased smile on Tadpole's face.>

"Mommy, are you going to cry happy tears?"

A good evening, with a very observant child.

Happy Friday!

It's still Friday as I start this anyway.  Both girls are asleep.  Sprout slept straight until 5:30 this morning, and while I don't dare expect or hope that will continue, I am certainly going to celebrate the sleeping baby whenever she does sleep through the night.

Big sister Tadpole tricycled (with some help) to a park close to one of the local schools this afternoon and so go to play on a playground otherwise populated by older kids! (High school? Old grade schoolers? Dunno. Old enough to think she was cute and charming, not an inconvenience). Riding the see saw with an older kid? Giant, giant smiles!

On the domestic front, I'd reconciled myself to a total dud in the various batches of beer I most recently brewed, but I cracked the second round of vanilla porter tonight and it was drinkable! Flatter than I'd like, but I get to drink my own beer tonight, which is a pretty great feeling!

So all in all a good Friday. Did I mention both girls are asleep and Tadpole went to sleep by herself with little drama!

(Above is "baby Amphisbaenia", a mythical two-headed snake featured in a book we checked out from the library a while ago.)

Geese, I guess?

Driving back from grocery shopping yesterday, I pointed out a pair of geese to Tadpole, but by the time she looked, we'd passed them.  A few moments later:

Look daddy! A goose! Just one goose.

Neat! Where?

We passed it already.

Oh. OK. Well thank you for pointing it out.

Did you see it?

No, but I'm glad you did.

Yeah. I saw it.  My eyes are better than yours. 

...

Your brown eyes have trouble.  But my blue eyes are really good. So I saw it because of my blue eyes.

So I see two geese on the side of the road, point them out to Tadpole, and eventually get told that my eyes aren't good based on their color because they can't see an imaginary goose.

Three, people.  She'll be here for the next 15 years, not tipping her server.

On a slightly related note, this mostly made me realize how different her conception of using words to say that we saw a goose is from mine.  Whatever those words mean to her, it's not what they mean to me.  I've been reading the Lives of some early medieval saints, and there's a recurring episode where the saint comes across a village of pagans and basically takes over their bodies, making them freeze or dance, in order to disrupt their ritual and/or show them the power of God.  In the same way that "I saw a goose" just means something fundamentally different to Tadpole than it does to me, I'm pretty sure these episodes meant something fundamentally different to their authors and audiences.  In all cases, I wish I understood what was going on there. I think the world would be more interesting.