Two jokes that do not fit on Twitter

Me, earlier today: "We're going to do A then B."

Tadpole: No, we're going to do B then A. That's how the world works.

Me: Nope. We're doing A first.

Tadpole: That's not how the world works. We're going to do B.

Me: I'm doing A right now. Then we'll do B.

Tadpole: OK, but that's not how the world works.

My daughter: never let facts get in the way of a good theory. So, basically, a French philosopher.

Item 2:

For the second time in the last few days, Tadpole identified a Miller Liter delivery truck as a beer truck. (It does have a realistic picture on the side after all.)

Today: Yes, and there's a wine truck too.

Me: What?

Tadpole: The red truck there!

Oh, you mean the red coke truck with the outline of a soda bottle ...